The Aufruf

It is a centuries-old tradition to initiate the round of wedding celebrations by having the groom called to recite the blessing over the Torah at the Sabbath service before the wedding. After the Torah reading and the groom’s concluding blessing, the congregation often supplements their chorus of mazal tovs by throwing nuts and raisins at the groom. If that Sabbath proves especially inconvenient, it may be held on the previous Sabbath or on a weekday when the Torah is read.

The purpose of the synagogue appearance is to publicly announce the forth-coming nuptials. This custom probably originated from legal requirements in medieval France and Germany when community leaders were responsible for ascertaining that there were no impediments to the validity of the marriage before permission could be granted to the couple to hold the wedding in the marriage halls. The most effective way of accomplishing this was the synagogue announcement.

Another and more obvious purpose is the association of the wedding with the Torah. When the celebration is begun with a call to the Torah, the mood is set for sanctity and sobriety. At the time of the First Temple, Solomon had two special gates built: one for grooms, the other for mourners. The public sat between the two. When mourners came, they spoke words of consolation. When grooms entered, they greeted them with the blessing: Ha-shokhen babayit ha-zeh ye’samechakha be’vanim u’vanot—”May He whose Presence dwells in this house rejoice you with sons and daughters.”

The aufruf also defines the religious boundaries of the marriage ceremony which, as has been noted, is essentially a civil function. It also gave the entire community, even those not invited to the wedding, the ability to participate in the festivity by attending the usual kiddush (Sabbath refreshments) immediately after the service.

The pre-wedding Sabbath has a venerable history. Mahzor Vitry records that the groom entered the synagogue with his ushers as a retinue, donned his tallit (prayer shawl) and sat down beside the Ark surrounded by his attendants. During the service, the cantor inserted special prayers into the regular service in honor of the couple, and a special reading was recited (Isaiah 61). On the Sabbath after the wedding, in a custom celebrated mostly by the ancient Sephardic community, a reading from a second Torah was specially arranged for bride and groom. This was the Genesis narrative of Eliezer and Rebecca, which, according to Rabbi Bachya, emphasizes that one should marry for right values and not for money, prestige, or beauty alone.

It appears from historical records that grooms traditionally donated the cover used to place over the Torah between readings. This reinforces the opinion that the groom’s aliyah to the Torah was the special event of the Sabbath. The requirement of the community to extend this honor is in the nature of a Chiyyuv (obligation), equivalent to and, according to some, superseding that of the bar mitzvah boy. A special hymn, echad yachid, was sung for grooms if it was their first marriage, but not for the marriages of widowers or divorcees.

In eighteenth-century Frankfurt, it was customary to extending the celebration back to Friday night, reminiscent of the shalom zakhar ceremony for a newborn son.

The celebration at the synagogue on Saturday morning characteristically included the bevarfen, the throwing of nuts and raisins. This was undoubtedly a fertility blessing. The Talmud records that at a wedding, the guests passed wine by the couple and then threw wheat, grain, and nuts at both bride and groom. The Maharil, a fourteenth century architect of Ashkenazi custom, records that the groom was brought to greet the bride at the synagogue court-yard door before the wedding began. The groom took her hand, and all assembled threw wheat grains at them and said three times, pe’ru u-re’vu,—”be fruitful and multiply!”

One author cites a homiletic reason for throwing the nuts, almonds and raisins. The Hebrew word for nut is egoz. The gematria (numerical value) of those letters is seventeen, which is also the value for chet (sin) and for tov (good). A marriage can be very good or very bad, depending on how married life is conducted. So, almonds can be either sweet or very bitter, and wine can be used for purposes of intoxication or for sanctification. Marriage can be lived with drunken abandon or it can be gloriously sanctified.

The more things change, the more they stay the same. An observation made by the congregation while discussing the weekly Torah portion at Shabbat Services last Friday night. If there is one thing we can count on is that human nature, given similar circumstances, will react the same even though separated by thousands of years.

So what are we to take away from these allegoric stories of long ago? Two words. Teachable moments. After each Torah portion, ask yourself this question . . . “what is the teachable moment in that story?” Exploring the answer to that question through discussion and study may bring you to the true virtue of the Torah … an instrument by which to show us a path to a higher plane. It may not be clear to us, and may take some thought, but the search for the right answer is, in fact, an invaluable lesson in itself.

Instead of repeating the behavior that got our ancestors into such trouble with the Lord, we learn to find an alternate behavior that brings us to a more enlightened state of being. Could that be the real purpose put before us?

In any case, the Torah continues to provide us with many teachable moments. How we face our difficulties, some of which were the same difficulties facing our ancestors, and act upon them? What have we learned from our ancestors and the mistakes they made? How can we do it better?

It’s a lot to ponder. The miracle is that we have the capacity and ability to embrace the task.

In the intimate setting of Cantor Sussman’s home, last Friday’s Shabbat Service provided congregants with a respite from the stress and strains of the every day world. Peaceful and warm, surrounded by close friends and family members, Cantor Sussman led her congregants in prayer and melody.

One day later the festivities of Purim took place at the Wescosville Recreation Center. With the story of Esther as the backdrop, music, fun and games took center stage as the Megillah was read, skits performed and unusually dressed characters paraded through the happy crowd. A Broadway production it was not, but all had a good time.

Our Temple life is active and thriving. Our congregants are supportive and enthusiastic. All of this is good for Judaism … and as we know, Judaism is good for all of this. It’s a circular World where what we invest in each other will definitely enrich our own spirit. Be a part of your world. Become active in your Jewish community. Enhance your life. Enrich your spirit.

http://templeshiratshalom.org/spirit-tss/2680/

“God helps those who help themselves.”   If we think about that, we come to understand it.   How do we help ourselves?  We read and act as one would with the lessons given to us from the Torah.

Whatever your path to reading the Torah becomes, be open to the lessons you can take away from your time spent with this magnificent book.  Our ancestors were imperfect in an imperfect world.  The Torah helps them to find a way to maneuver this world, understand this world, and make better this world.  The Torah told them and tells us today what to eat, what to wear, when to work, when to rest, how to treat others, how to treat ourselves … all of this to empower a people with hope and the will to survive.

The Torah also brings order to what would have been a chaotic world.  Our ancestors lived in tumultuous times.  Some might say our present time is much the same.  Different challenges needing solutions.  What the Torah gave our ancestors and still gives to us today is a guide…. a survival guide.  There are laws, procedures and processes that have been put in place, which brings civility to our world.