Enjoy these haiku’s. They seem to capture the soul of our culture and the spirit of our people.
Beyond Valium,
peace is knowing one’s child
is an internist.
On Passover we
opened the door for Elijah.
Now our cat is gone.
After the warm rain
the sweet smell of camellias.
Did you wipe your feet?
Today I am a man.
Tomorrow I will return
to the seventh grade.
Testing the warm milk
on her wrist, she sighs softly.
But her son is forty.
Like a bonsai tree,
is your terrible posture
at my dinner table.
Jews on safari —
map, compass, elephant gun,
hard sucking candies.
The same kimono
the top geishas are wearing:
I got it at Loehmann’s.
The shivah visit:
so sorry about your loss.
Now back to my problems.
Mom, please! There is no
need to put that dinner roll
in your pocketbook.
Seven-foot Jews in
the NBA slam-dunking!
My alarm clock rings.
Sorry I’m not home
to take your call. At the tone
please state your bad news.
Is one Nobel Prize
so much to ask from a child
after all I’ve done?
Today, mild shvitzing.
Tomorrow, so hot you’ll plotz.
Five-day forecast: feh
Yenta. Shmeer. Gevalt.
Shlemiel. Shlimazl. Meshuganah
Oy! To be fluent!
A lovely nose ring,
excuse me while I put my
head in the oven.
Hard to tell under the lights.
White Yarmulke or
male-pattern baldness.
Jewish Buddhism:
If there is no self,
Whose arthritis is this?
The sparkling blue sea
Reminds me to wait an hour
After my sandwich.
Quietly murmured
At Saturday Synagogue services,
Phillies 5, Red Sox 3.
Be here now.
Be someplace else later.
Is that so complicated?
Drink tea and nourish life;
With the first sip, joy;
With the second sip, satisfaction;
With the third sip, peace;
With the fourth, a Danish.
Wherever you go, there you are.
Your luggage is another story.
Accept misfortune as a blessing.
Do not wish for perfect health, or a life without problems.
What would you talk about?
The journey of a thousand miles
Begins with a single Oy.
Zen is not easy.
It takes effort to attain nothingness.
And then what do you have?
Bupkis.
The Tao does not speak
The Tao does not blame.
The Tao does not take sides.
The Tao has no expectations.
The Tao demands nothing of others
The Tao is not Jewish.
Breathe in, Breathe out.
Forget this and attaining Enlightenment will
Be the least of your problems.
Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers.
Each flower blossoms ten thousand times.
Each blossom has ten thousand petals.
You might want to see a specialist
Be aware of your body.
Be aware of your perceptions.
Keep in mind that not every physical
Sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness.
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